GrowlerZone Issue #11

GrowlerZone #11 + + + + GrowlerZone #11

+ + A Cultural Posting From Growlerville + +
Issue #11
"Please report all observations of excessive normality. " (Oldold)

In this issue:

- - DEAR GROWLERZONE: Feedback forum

- - SUGGESTED LISTENING: Growler Radio 6 Dry Water:
And you thought invisibility was a problem!

- - GRIST: The Hidden Coup At The Power Club

- - AMAZING HUHU FACTS: Sometimes Success IS Failure.

- - THE REAL GROWLERVILLE REPORTS: More first hand Growlerville News
Mr. E gets an inside peek at Prof. Growler's lab.

MORE INSTANT STUPIDITY: Porof that seplling does not matter.

- - UNCLE HUHU'S KNOCK-KNOCK CITY: This Pro Just Keeps on Knock Knocking



Did you know that our website has 28 age appropriate crossword puzzles?
Go here: The Growler Tapes Crossword Puzzles





Dear GrowlerZone,
My kids claim they can make dry water! They can make
it come out of the faucet, but only when I'm not around.
This explains how they can take a bath without making the
tub wet. Who would have known? Mel_F_Lewis

Dear Mel,
Good story, Mel. GZ


Dear GrowlerZone,
I see that one on the questions on the Magic Qualification
Exam is, "How do you go about purchasing items that do not
exist?" I want to buy things that don't exist with money that doesn't exist
(credit card), but can't find any products. Azi9

Dear Azi9,
You noticed. That's because Growler Louise cleverly
monopolized the market. But the regulators caught on,
and are going to force her to divest. That may help with
this annoying supply problem. Look again in few days. GZ


Got questions or comments? Let's hear from you.
gz @ growler.com Put "Dear GrowlerZone" on the subject line.






Messing with natural forces almost always creates unexpected side effects. Dr. Growler persuaded the Huhu Authority to let him extract wetness factor from the water in the stream. It makes the water feel good, taste good, and doesn't harm the environment. So what's the problem?

Something's happening to the stream. From a quick glance, it's hard to notice anything different, but things have definitely changed.

The Huhu already know about Dr. Growler & his machine, and they WANT him to change their water! Until they discover the consequences.

Concepts: Environmental impact of technological change.




GRIST: The Hidden Coup At The Power Club.

by QB Snifs

Overheard at the Harvest Festival: unanimous griping about the new regulations for the encrusted industries. It seems that the membership of the Swine Laurel Country Club is feeling the heat generated by the new laws intended to force companies to be more responsible for both safety and environmental issues involved in the conduct of their encrusted businesses.

They don't like it, and they're doing something about it. It's an effort which has united them deeply - one notes that the banners and signs that say "Repeal" have not been taken down after the rally, and were intentionally left up during the Festival, where they would be seen on camera.

Normally the quite stuffy Club management permits no such displays

The amazing thing is that only four seasons ago, the Club rallied support for the movement that brought about these same regulations. It was the many individual business owners who spoke up and acknowledged their own experiences of magic gone bad.

The hearings included a huge number of personal testimonials by victims of encrusted catastrophes. The chamber was brought to tears by the testimony of Growler Fred, as he painfully relayed the excruciating details of his numerous, and heroic victimizations at the hands of careless practitioners, compounded by inordinate bad luck. Fred's fervor touched almost everyone back then with his successful campaign for "responsible magic."

At the time, Club influence was probably the major factor contributing to the passage of the now reviled legislation.

One might assume, with a complete, 180 degree philosophical turnaround such as this, that some great unseen consequence arose, that a mistake had in fact been made and was now being acknowledged. Perhaps sales plummeted, or the cost of new containment implementation was grossly underestimated, or quality suffered, or productivity... But none of these bad consequences happened.

Sales and new product introductions continued to hit new records, and the regulated containment effort created a noticeably safer environment. Of course, the higher standards required by the new regulations did increase costs. But during the early fight for market share, no one wanted to raise prices, and so the bleeding went unchecked for a very long time.

Consequently, when it all hit the fan, artificially inflated corporate profits took a huge hit, followed immediately by an accelerated decline in already falling share prices. Markets continued downward as investors dumped their holdings in a rush to get out, only making things worse. The bubble crashed and burned, and the money dried up. Blue chip companies could be had for a song.

And this is where the story of the great Club reversal gets interesting.

In the wasteland of declining profits, one enterprise was going the other way. Dr. Growler's EverCool Corp was continuing to amass huge profits as the franchise expanded, and began a program to purchase companies through stock accumulation. An unnamed, high administration official acknowledges that EverCool's acquisition of other companies did not receive the proper scrutiny. It appears to be an honest mistake - EverCool's massive acquisition program, which resulted in a monopoly of the encrusted industries, was given only cursory oversight due to the dire financial state of the markets at the time of the purchases. The general feeling was that the EverCool purchases were providing needed liquidity at a time when no one else was coming forward.

No one saw the downside of this decision.

So the market crash, while horrible in its own right, turns out to be only a diversion while a much more frightening development plays out - the subversion of our democratic institutions. Unfortunately, the transactions in which political influence changes hands are invisible to the citizen.

But the integrity of our system is questionable if our vote can be influenced by anything other than our will. Is money enough, can everyone be bought, can anyone really attain so much power? We must ask these questions. And because this is Growlerville, there is one more important question:

Could some wealthy entity, with not only incredibly deep pockets, but also encrusted powers of persuasion take control?

This place has a monied class, and it's an elite like no other - almost all have been lifelong members of the Club. Established by the first entrepreneurs to build successful enterprises here in town, the Club's tradition follows the commerce.

At one point, over a hundred companies, through their various owners, were represented. Democracy proceeded slowly here, consensus required patience, and tradition could not be ignored.

One should note that a majority of the elected members of the Huhu Authority have been Club members all their lives. It used to be that while representative of the political class, the Club was a diverse and opinionated group - unanimity was virtually nonexistent.

But lately, there are no voices of dissent. The represented wealth of the Club membership has changed dramatically, and the changes correspond exactly to the growth of Dr. Growler's EverCool empire. His enterprise grew astonishingly large in very short order, and although he carefully avoided legal issues regarding monopoly, in the end he either owned, or was the major shareholder of most companies in Growlerville.

The impact of his success is ultimately reflected in the opinions and in the gossip at the Club, which unanimously support the repeal of the Safe Magic regulations. The membership, these once independent entrepreneurs, now all work for Dr. Growler or for companies owned by him.

Hence the mouthing of the party line, "Repeal, repeal, repeal." Everyone seems to be in clone mode. It's a unison drone that is not in line with the Club's own tradition of disparate voices.

Could the political power base of Growlerville have been hijacked without anyone even noticing?

Have comment on this story? Think Fred can win? Email us: gz @ growler.com




AMAZING HUHU FACTS (Growler Radio 6 Dry Water)

Item: Project No Night

Fact: Growlers have always been afraid of the dark. 

And that fear has been the driving force behind Dr. Growler's life mission of finding a way to eliminate all darkness. Combining several new technologies, he's been experimenting with stimulated laser-photon illumination applied from an antigravity sustaining platform. He has already perfected both the antigravity systems, and a super-bright light he calls Growlershine. He's currently in search of a power supply large enough to handle his needs.

As a service to all Growlers, he plans to turn on Growlershine from high in the sky every night.

His ultimate goal is also the name of his mission: Project No Night

 And that's an amazing Huhu Fact!




The Real Growlerville Reports

The Real Growlerville 18: Noise Thief In The Bottomless Bag

A first hand account by investigative journalist, Mr. E

Under the new regulations for encrusted products, the Bottomless Bag is illegal. "It's dangerous! Look!" ....Reaching into the bag to retrieve my shoes and jacket is not working. "Turn it over," she motions me, interrupting her call.....Read More.




Why is this so easy to read?
Sllepnig deos not mttear. Wnat to laren mroe? Cilck tihs lnik.




Knock knock.
Who's there?
Sarah who?
Sarah nuther piece of pie?

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dishes who?
Dishes the worst case of Toxic Obnoxic I've ever seen!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Winner who?
Winner you gonna stop being so annoying?

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Howard. who?
Howard we gonna get you to eat your vegetables?

Click here for the big collection of knock-knock jokes from Uncle Huhu: More Knocks




Another recommended story that May Not relate to this issue of GrowlerZone:


GROWLER RADIO 11 - Time In 2 Bottles

Sooner or later everyone wants Sooner Or Later.  That's because it lets you visit the past and the future.  It's a hit new magic product that's selling out before it arrives.  But wait...  Something's wrong...  Professor Growler thinks you're guilty of something.   And then there are those incredible magic rags.

They know something's wrong when their butterfly turns into a caterpillar.  An errand to the basement leads to an incredible adventure in which the kids observe themselves in another time zone, visit the School Of Magic, and find themselves in a major predicament.

Concept: Time manipulation.



Baby Growlers 1-5 MUSIC for ages 2-6 Available Free for now.

These are programs designed to grab those little ears of your little growlers with the amazing world of highly produced audio. Baby Growlers has all the Huhu and Growlers singing, plus real creatures, lots of sounds, and foot stomping danceables galore. Each album features it's own animal stars, a mystery segment, a dinosaur event, and humor throughout, while offering really great songs. Like all things Growler, these fun listening experiences trick kids into learning by exposing them to nontraditional ideas, a challenging vocabulary, and an appreciation of the unexpected.

We've got Growlers in our top 40 list. All KidMixRadio selections are chosen by a panel of seasoned critics, including my 2-year-old and my 5-year-old. Baby Growlers is a hit. Unique but crisp vocals are combined with interesting sound effects and some of the best songwriting found in kid's music today. The result is fun music that does not sing down to your kids. Growl on, babies!" (Kim Robasky, KidMixRadio)


Listen to the songs of the Baby Growlers  Series


Baby Growlers 1: Beat of the Spoon
Baby Growlers 2: Wild Baby
Baby Growlers 3: No Laughing Allowed
Baby Growlers 4: Too Hip To Hop
Baby Growlers 5: Shoelace Blues