GrowlerZone Issue #12
GrowlerZone #12 + + + + GrowlerZone #12
+ + A Cultural Posting From Growlerville + +
"I tried to get to the future, but ended up in the pasture." (Oldold)
In this issue:
- - DEAR GROWLERZONE: Feedback forum
- - SUGGESTED LISTENING: Growler Radio 7 Summer Snow:
Everyone talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it!
- - GRIST: What is it with reality?
- - THE MAGIC QUALIFICATION EXAM: It's now a requirement.
- - AMAZING HUHU FACTS: Studying the refuse of the ancients.
- - THE REAL GROWLERVILLE REPORTS: More first hand Growlerville News
Into the temporal vortex.
ALMOST RANDOM: Stuff to make you cringe with thought.
- - UNCLE HUHU'S KNOCK-KNOCK CITY: More silliness from this Knock Knock Pro
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Dear Mr. Growler,
I think you goofed. You have this fine puzzle in GrowlerZone issue# 11:
Fill in the blanks to spell the 2 word title of a Growler story:
Did you make a mistake or are you trying to fool us? Your Buddy.
Dear Your Buddy,
No goof. Hint: one of the 31 Growler titles. Ask your Mom
for help and email back if you still can't get it.
(hint: _NV_S_B_L_TY CR_S_S) GZ
I notice a lot of references to the Theory of Opposites in Growler
stories, and I finally think I get it. It's so cool it's hot, so true yet so
false. I'm a firm believer who has absolutely no faith. EileenDover
Thank you for your awful yet quite wonderful email. There's
info more here: Philosophy
Dear Mr. Growler,
I have noticed that I am becoming more and more anonymous
everyday. It's not that I mind it, but I wondered if you have heard
any other such complaints? I don't think I am crazy, but I have
been wrong before. 2DogDay
We have been deluged with letters like yours. Though they
seem to focus on different personal observations, they all
appear to be related to the suspected reality tampering
scandal that is discussed by QB Snifs in Grist, below. GZ
Got questions or comments? Let's hear from you.
gz @ growler.com Put "Dear GrowlerZone" on the subject line.
GROWLER RADIO 7 - Summer Snow
Everyone talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it. No one, that is, until Growler Louise and the Dutchess stumbled onto a powerful new enchantment. But you know how it is when you experiment with magic - sometimes you're hot, sometimes you're not.
It's a heat wave, and it looks like a storm is brewing. But those clouds are flashing! The radio says Growlerville is completely buried under snow, and it's still snowing! The kids get permission to play with the stuff in the Magic Shop, but not everyone believes them.
Concepts: Usefulness of encrusted refuse.
GRIST: Could someone be tampering with reality?
by QB Snifs
For the past week, evidence has been mounting that the reality rumors are true, that somehow reality is being altered, intentionally or not. When I first heard the story 10 days ago, I thought it was philosophical garbage. What could it mean to have a manipulated reality? It didn't make sense. It was so far fetched, too ridiculous for consideration. But during the last week, my mind has changed. I am now confident that something has most definitely altered the reality I was accustomed to. And it's not just me. By now, most of the citizens of Growlerville have been convinced of the same certainty. Yet we have no real proof, except that which lies in the observation of events that, after they pass, seem to have significance beyond the natural order.
In other words, we have lots of weird evidence. It is evidence that is logically frail, yet insistent and compelling. It is evidence that appears weak, subjective and coincidental upon rational examination, but still strongly supportive and suggestive of an altered reality when seen in another context.
But I'm getting way ahead of myself...
The rumors can be traced to the Recipe Slam, a funky downtown poetry reading night spot. Two weeks ago, at the Friday open mic, one of the new, hot poets, Sister Sammy, did a freestyle performance so powerful that everyone in the club was mesmerized. The unwritten, improvised outburst spoke a warning to those who would make comfortable assumptions regarding our reality. It was a paranoid scream, a tirade against the untoward forces tampering with the order of things. "Something's very wrong with Reality, as she is now a prisoner!" she espoused.
In the ways in which words can be woven to expose an unseen truth, this poet's ephemeral work was a masterpiece. A frightening question arises that really needs addressing: Was this possibly an encrusted performance? But again, I'm getting ahead of myself....
From there, the talk traversed the grapevine in every direction. I first heard the story from a complete stranger while waiting for a table at Olaf's, and it made me laugh out loud. By a week ago, the reality chatter was everywhere. For a while it was written off as one more silly fad of the intellectuals in Magictown. Probably a guerilla marketing campaign for a new film or book. Philosophical dinner conversation about the nature of reality. Chat room chat. Elevator banter. Loose talk
But today scientists, professors, educators, and researchers are pointing out troubling observations in the fabric of traditional knowledge.
- Mathematics becomes problematical.
- Proofs are unproven.
- Sound arguments become unsound.
Logic appears to be breaking down on a massive scale.
lthough widely reported in the media, no one really understands the exact nature of the problem. But they know there is a problem. And they know the condition continues to worsen.
And then there are those few still in denial, who think this is all an incredible practical joke blown out of proportion, a fertile seed that, by circumstance, fell into an ideal environment that nurtured it into a mean spirited monstrosity of public concern. This is a town, after all, that does believe in magic, and may be a bit more paranoid as a result.
Businesses are paying close attention to the recent falloff in the tourist trade, and associating it with the rumors. No one wants to be caught up in something that can't be understood. So in some respects we're all hoping that the nonbelievers are right, that it's just an encrusted trick or something, and is about to blow over.
The one thing this experience proves to us is that most citizens of Growlerville believe it is actually possible to alter reality. They know it's not only possible, but it has also happened here before. And once you know that, you become suspicious on levels you never thought possible in a non-encrusted world. Somebody's probably trying to do it right now, because there are an infinite number of reasons to want to.
In fact, throughout history, altering reality in Growlerville has been the primary objective of the encrusted practitioner. So we've got lots of experience to make us nervous.
Perhaps, as someone reading this, you may think that this situation is explainable as a normal reality in which some sort of mass psychosis, or paranoia has taken hold.
But is that a normal reality?
See what I mean? It's more of that frail evidence I spoke of before which can be so easily discounted. This article itself is such evidence. I am writing a column in which I am stating that I am convinced that the order of things has been altered in some unknown way. Would such article ever be written in a normal reality? It goes on and on.
We are experiencing a series of unexplainable events that lead us to only one conclusion: Something really is wrong with reality.
As momentum gathers behind this incredible issue, the government is being drawn in, and the impact being measured. And the pollsters only reinforce the common knowledge. Last week, in response to the question, "Do you believe that reality has been tampered with?" the response was 54% yes, 27% no, and 19% undecided.
By a factor of two to one, citizens feel something's fishy, yet no one has a clue what to do about it. This week, the political activist veteran, Growler Fred, picked up on the concerns he identified as "scary," and promised to do something.
What exactly he will do to address this unidentifiable menace is yet unknown, but he has suggested that there are those who may have intentionally manipulated reality for their own interests, and that these folks pose a new kind of danger to our society.
He is proposing a new policy he's calling "reality management," which will help identify the problem and propose solutions.
To me, this is just more of that weird evidence.
Have comment on this story? Email us: gz @ growler.com
Put "Grist" on the subject line
THE MAGIC QUALIFICATION EXAM: It's now a requirement.
Take the Magic Qualification Exam. The Huhu Authority recently ruled that all those seeking a license to practice must meet certain minimum requirements, including a passing score on this examination. This is a copy of last year's exam. The Magic Qualification Examination
All fees collected in the licensing process are used to compensate the victims of encrusted disasters through the Victims Of Magic Fund.
AMAZING HUHU FACTS (Growler Radio 7 Summer Snows)
Item: Never Stop
Fact: There is much to be learned by studying the refuse created by the ancients.
Ancient Huhu practiced infinite variations of magical experiments using the naturally occurring magic so abundantly available to them. Some of these experiments yielded great advances for the society. But most magic experiments resulted in what we now call magically encrusted waste.
The Never Stop is a good example. Discarded as uncontrollable and useless by the ancients, modern Huhu have discovered new and powerful uses for it. Put some in the water of your waterbed, and get a perpetual massage. They'll also unclog your drains and keep your pillows fluffed. New uses are being found every day!
And so we learn that ancient waste while sometimes dangerous, can, at other times, be incredibly useful.
And that's an amazing Huhu Fact!
The Real Growlerville Reports
A first hand account by investigative journalist, Mr. E
Prof. Growler is doing something with artificial insects. I don't think that's illegal......Read More.
Can you perish anything other than a thought?
Meet the gambler, Bigger, the bettor
Asia said Europe to no good.
4 PM comes before 6 PM.
But why does 12 PM come before 6 PM?
Every day, try to find something that doesn't exist.
Don't settle for ordinary confusion, for you deserve better.
Seek a confusion that exists at a higher level - a profound confusion.
UNCLE HUHU'S KNOCK-KNOCK CITY
Bottom lessons in tennis for his birthday?
Did you redo all that you had done?
Xavier breath and stop complaining.
Minnie have tried and many have failed.
Click here for the big collection of knock-knock jokes from Uncle Huhu: More Knocks
Another recommended story that May Not relate to this issue of GrowlerZone:
GROWLER RADIO 14 - Nothing For Christmas
It's snowing on Christmas Eve, there are lots of presents under the tree, Grandma & Grandpa are coming, and life couldn't be better. But wait. The early warning system detected a potentially dangerous release of magic into the environment. It was an accident, but will Growlerville ever be the same again?.
Fun in the backyard snowballs into adventure and mystery as the kids stumble into a developing crises. A giant Santa and some crushed presents are clues to the unexplainable force that seems to have taken control. And then there's this stuff called Nothing that everyone wants for Christmas
Concept: Idea of nothing, and nothing remover. Issues of encrusted waste management.
GROWLER RADIO 6 - Dry Water
Messing with natural forces almost always creates unexpected side effects. Dr. Growler convinced the Huhu Authority to let him extract wetness factor from the water in the stream. It makes the water feel good, taste good, and doesn't harm the environment. So what's the problem?
Something's happening to the stream. From a quick glance, it's hard to notice anything different, but things have definitely changed. The Huhu already know about Dr. Growler & his machine, and they WANT him to change their water! Until they discover the consequences.
Concept: Consequences of the removal of the wetness factor from water.
Revisits: Project No Night.
Did you know that our website has 28 age appropriate crossword puzzles?
Go here: The Growler Tapes Crossword Puzzles