GrowlerZone Issue #9

GrowlerZone #9 + + + + GrowlerZone #9

+ + A Cultural Posting From Growlerville + +
Issue #9
"In the costume party of life, disguise the limit." (Oldold)

<In this issue:

- - DEAR GROWLERZONE: Feedback forum

- - SUGGESTED LISTENING: Growler Radio 3 Way Out:

- - GRIST: Too Little, Too Late?

- - AMAZING HUHU FACTS: T-9 made safer and useful by No Holes.

- - THE REAL GROWLERVILLE REPORTS: More first hand Growlerville News
Mr. E sees first hand the efficacy of magic smellss.

- - UNCLE HUHU'S KNOCK-KNOCK CITY: This Pro Is Still Knocking





Dear GrowlerZone,
I noticed that there's a real product called Universal Translator
being sold in computer supplies catalogs. It's a software based
translation program. But they stole the name from Growler Radio
13 "Voice Throw." Ether Oar

Dear Ether,
We also noticed that product, but can it translate duck? Or
frog? Uncle Huhu's Universal Translator can translate both ways,
while you're listening. Can the software do that? GZ


Dear GrowlerZone,
What is this about all the lights being on? Zebe & Rue are
always discovering indoor environments where all the lights are on.Are the Growlers prone to wasting resources or what? AV8R

Dear AV8R,
What would you do if you were afraid of the dark? GZ


Dear GrowlerZone,
Concerning the Dutchess of Hu - do you realize that on your
website, you are not using the proper spelling of "duchess?"
Ms. May (and her 4th graders)

Dear Ms. May (and her 4th graders),
The spelling comes from the derivation. In the ancient
tongue of Hu, used by the Parents Of Antiquity, "dutchest" is
the superlative form of "dutch" (meaning "good"). Over time,
Dutchest became Dutchess. Note: there is no Duke. For
example, the Dutchess of Da is male.


Got questions or comments? Let's hear from you.
gz @ growler.com Put "Dear GrowlerZone" on the subject line.






Way Out is made from purified T-9.  It looks like a black rubber pizza, but when you put it on a surface, it becomes a hole you can reach through or go through.  Then, you can grab it by the edge and peel it off, removing the hole. It's a portable hole, and it's dangerous..

Riding in the car turns into an incredible adventure without ever leaving traffic.  A Way Out was accidentally placed in the back seat of the car, and the kids have fallen in.  In order to get back, they have to borrow some equipment.  But Growler Louise doesn't like it

Concepts: dimensionality.

Visits: See The Real Growlerville Report #18 & #19 at the Moon At Midnight ware house in the T9 section.




GRIST: Growlerville Is Changing.

by QB Snifs

Growlerville for the most part is a peaceful place. There is very little crime. And so it is understandable that the police and security forces are not a big priority for the community. There are better ways to spend the town's money than on law enforcement, especially if no one is breaking the law.

But Growlerville is changing.

The huge successes of the encrusted technologies have attracted an element of greed to our innocent village. Large amounts of money and the accompanying temptations require a closer look at this government's ability to deal with unethical behavior. The long standing, do-nothing policy regarding the regulation of our encrusted natural resources is leading us toward ecological and social catastrophe. We have endured disaster after uncontrollable disaster, often exaggerated by the blunders and oversights of the fortune hunters.

Most of the newly arrived entrepreneurs are in it only for the money, and are oblivious to any standards of safety or sense of the common good. In this environment, both personal and ecological dangers abound, but the Huhu Authority seems paralyzed, able to act only in response to problems, not to prevent them..


There are whispers all over town about a dispute that cuts to the core of this new issue for Growlerville. The conservatives who now control the Huhu Authority want to keep the status quo, arguing that business has thrived because of its pro-magic policies, and business is good for Growlerville.

But the political insurgency of Growler Fred has created a strange situation in which this anti-magic politician is seen less and less as a lone, radical voice, and more and more like an insightful leader who's time has come.

His persistent calls for the regulation of all magic practitioners are now being embraced by a community that wishes it had listened to him sooner.

We all know of the unethical use of the encrusted agent Camouflage to hide waste material dumped in the beautiful woodlands surrounding Growlerville. After an uproar, the government cracked down and forced Skizmo Industries to pay for a complete cleanup.

But during the cleanup, they discovered that Growlerville had become more of a dumping ground than anyone expected. A huge amount of garbage was found by officials, ten times the amount Skizmo confessed to dumping.

It turned out that many, many companies were also illegally disposing of their waste in the same manner. Because there are no laws requiring responsible uses of encrusted agents, the desecration of our environment had become standard operating procedure for many of the largest corporations in Growlerville. You can make more money by not spending on waste disposal.


This morning, another wake up call sounded, and someone in the government better be listening.

When the archaeologists were showing the press the artifacts discovered at their dig, they noticed that the seal on the Urn Of The Imposimazoo was broken, the location of the eggs unknown. The urn was intact last night. The concerned scientists say that the urn held several eggs in containment and that the sealed vessel was excavated out from under the weight of a large number of huge, intentionally positioned stones, from the bottom of a deep cylindrical pit.

The ancients had great fear of the Imposimazoo.

The hieroglyphics on the urn are a warning to never unseal it, and a plea to leave it buried in the containment shaft. There are references to an ancient contamination that plagued the ancestors, almost destroying their society before it was neutralized.

The remaining hieroglyphs have not yet been interpreted, but the information from our ancestors is already clear: this scary menace is now loose among us and we may all be in great danger of powerful forces beyond our control.

What makes this doubly agonizing is that our ancestors had already conquered and contained this plague, making society safe from its influence. That is, until the arrogance of modern scientific curiosity unwittingly enabled a long awaited escape to occur by deliberately ignoring the wisdom of the ancients.

These recent, terrifying examples demonstrate that the proper management of potentially harmful agents has been too long ignored by our representatives. Our society deserves better protection from our own stupidity. So Fred's idea to regulate magic practitioners is about to become a legislative success.

Regulation is coming to Growlerville

But it's too little, too late, according to the Select Committee at Encrusted Watch, the natural forces think tank. There is concern in this elite body that many other violations are ongoing, including the unintentional pollution of our environment by uncontrolled, encrusted waste - the byproducts of manufacturing and experimentation with the new technologies.

Recent disappearances of citizens and property, disruptions in the flow of time, and other unexplainable phenomena are thought to be linked to the proliferation of encrusted pollution.

Now, confronted by numerous, simultaneous disasters, the Authority is panicked, with long time members rushing to embrace positions they argued against a short while ago. The pro-magic representatives are hedging their rhetoric to avoid the appearance of blame.

With each new emergency, the hands-off approach to industry is fading fast, and it looks likely that legislation doubling the existing security budget is almost certain to pass in the next session. This is in addition to the new licensing requirements for magic practitioners - expected to be approved by the tiniest margin, over the howls of the traditionalists.

Growlerville has become a different place - a little less innocent, and a lot more dangerous.

Does anyone out there really feel safe anymore?

The pot's been stirred, and the tea is cloudy. Check back later.

Have comment on this story? Email us: gz @ growler.com



Did you know that our website has 28 age appropriate crossword puzzles?
Go here: The Growler Tapes Crossword Puzzles



AMAZING HUHU FACTS (Addendum to Growler Radio 3 - Way Out)

Item: T9 Way Out

Fact: Sometimes a hole is useless without something to put it in. 

 Many of the early settlers of Growlerville were drawn here by the news that large quantities of the valuable encrusted mineral T-9 were discovered at the edge of the Forbidden Zone. Early prospectors did not have to dig deep. They found black pools of nearly pure T-9 readily available near the surface.

Pressed and rolled out into flat discs, the material demonstrated remarkable properties when placed against solid surfaces, creating an entry or "hole" that could be applied or removed at will. Stories of the incredible "portable hole" traveled like wildfire through the surrounding territories. But the dreams of quick riches faded fast when it became obvious that the purified substance could not be kept in any container. It was, in fact, quite dangerous and many victims disappeared into the unusual openings created inadvertently by uncontained T-9. Sales slumped, and the fledgling T-9 Corporation almost went out of business due to the liability created by their product.

For many moons this new industry failed to live up to the expectations of the investors. But all this changed with the development of a material known as No Holes. An inert mineral fiber, No Holes suppresses the dimensional extension capability of T-9, thereby enabling its containment.

When T-9 is pressed against this new material, it is unable to form an opening through it. Now the portable hole could be safely stored in containers made from No Holes, and a large part of its danger was ostensibly removed.

As a result, a T-9 product called Way Out became a huge seller. A portable hole in the form of a large flat disk, Way Out was rolled up and then sold in No Holes boxes. Later, the No Holes container would take the form of a cloth bag woven from the fiber. Lined with purified T-9, this new improved product was named the Bottomless Bag, and it completely changed the way storage is viewed.

With the proper packaging, even a dangerous portable hole can become a safe and effective product.

 And that's an amazing Huhu Fact!




The Real Growlerville Reports

The Real Growlerville 19: Way Out

A first hand account by investigative journalist, Mr. E

Need a fast method of escape?
Right now we are in the Moon At Midnight warehouse looking at a hole in a wall of the T9 section...........Read More.




Knock knock.
Who's there?
Added two dimes and got twenty cents.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Edible who?
Edibaloney sandwich for lunch..

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Henna who?
Henna thing you want when I go shopping!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Statue who?
Statue or someone else!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Justin who?
Justin case you forgot, I need the lights on!


Click here for the big collection of knock-knock jokes from Uncle Huhu: More Knocks




Instant Stupidity

Learn how easy can be hard.
This is a demonstration of right brain/left brain conflict.

Take the Instant Stupidity Exam.




Another recommended story that May Relate to this issue of GrowlerZone:

GROWLER RADIO 21 - Bottomless Bag

Everyone's looking for Grandma Huhu. Students enrolled in Time Manipulation 101 reported her missing when she failed to show for morning lecture. Where could she be? Is she stuck somewhere in time? The actual problem is in fact much, much bigger.  

Warning: When you see butterflies flying into a Bottomless Bag, you probably should investigate.

This particular bag is bigger on the inside than the outside, so it can hold a LOT! 

The kids, Zebe and Rue, get a peek into the past, have a first hand experience with Fast Fingers, and get on the wrong side of Growler Fred..

Revisits: T-9, magic safety issues, Fast Fingers.

Concept: Time manipulation & dimensionality.




Baby Growlers 1-5 MUSIC for ages 2-6 ............Available Free for now.

If you have Baby Growlers at home who love music, check out our programs are designed to grab those little ears with the amazing world of audio. Listen to all the Huhu and Growlers singing, plus lots of sounds, and foot stomping dancing galore. Every Baby Growler album offer in the context of really great songs, it's own special animal stars, a dinosaur event, a mystery, combined with silly humor throughout. Just as with all things Growler, these are fun listening experiences that exposes kids to nontraditional ideas, a challenging vocabulary, and an appreciation for the unexpected.

We've got Growlers in our top 40 list. All KidMixRadio selections are chosen by a panel of seasoned critics, including my 2-year-old and my 5-year-old. Baby Growlers is a hit. Unique but crisp vocals are combined with interesting sound effects and some of the best songwriting found in kid's music today. The result is fun music that does not sing down to your kids. Growl on, babies!" (Kim Robasky, KidMixRadio)


Listen to the songs of the Baby Growlers  Series


Baby Growlers 1: Beat of the Spoon
Baby Growlers 2: Wild Baby
Baby Growlers 3: No Laughing Allowed
Baby Growlers 4: Too Hip To Hop
Baby Growlers 5: Shoelace Blues