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April 1999 April 1999
The Growler Tapes
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"It may not be the circles you travel in, but rather that you're
traveling in circles at all." (Oldold)
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in this issue:
- - GROWLER RADIO 21: Bottomless Bag is available
- - GRIST: Is Fred looking for other work?
- - AMAZING HUHU FACTS: The need for regulation
- - THE GROWLERVILLE TOURIST: A trip into the Forbidden Zone, part 1
- - REMINDER: GR20: Toxic Obnoxic available since Jan 99
Did you know that our website has 24 age appropriate crossword
puzzles? Go here: The Growler Tapes Crossword Puzzles
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GROWLER RADIO 21, Bottomless Bag (GR21): now available
Everyone's looking for Grandma Huhu. Students
enrolled in Time Manipulation 101 reported her missing when
she failed to show for morning lecture. Their greatest fear
is that she might be stuck somewhere unknown in time, which
would be a big problem. But the actual problem is in fact
much, much bigger.
When you see butterflies flying into a Bottomless Bag,
you probably should investigate. This bag is bigger on the
inside than the outside, so it holds a LOT! The kids get a
peek into the past, have a first hand experience with Fast
Fingers, and get on the wrong side of Growler Fred.
Concept: This story is one of 3 (others are GR11 & GR13) in
which the the beginning is the end.
Revisits: 7 fingered glove (Fast Fingers) and Sooner Or
Later. (from GR11)
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GRIST
No doubt about it, Growler Fred is a star, and he's trying to use his new status
to influence the content of his show. "You think they can do this show without
me! Just let them try to write me out of this series!" he was overheard whining
at Carmine's on the Upper West Side. He was refering to the hit audio series
Growler Radio, in which the star has been demanding a larger role. Restaurant
staff told us privately that Fred was exceptionally loud. "Look. Ya got a show
whose title is GROWLER RADIO, the product is a Growler tape, and yet Growlers
are in only a tiny fraction of the scenes! Does that make sense?!! Get out of
my fuzzy face!!" he steamed, according to waiter Kevin de Hu. The producers
would not comment for us, but a close advisor to the star told us that Fred is
probably going to start freelancing a bit just to see if the show's lawyers are
really up for enforcing his exclusivity clause. Everything is definitely not
rosy in Growlerville!
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AMAZING HUHU FACTS
Fact: With every major technological advance comes unexpected
consequences.
It seems like only yesterday, if you had a large object, you needed a
large space to keep it. Recent advances in encrusted technology have changed
the way we live by providing us with big new spaces in small, convenient
packages. Bottomless Bag, Deep Pockets, Little Big Box, are just some of the
brand names of containers using this new space creating technology. Each
container holds as much as you put in and its weight never varies no matter how
much it's holding. Simply inverting the container retrieves the contents. Is
infinite storage a good thing? Of course it is! But there are those who abuse
technology, and unseen dangers often surface as a result of popular use, and
there clearly is a need for new laws to govern the safe use of these products.
For example, the airlines no longer permit any encrusted containers on board as
a result of an incident involving the accidental spilling of a Bottomless Bag
while a plane was in flight. Fortunately, everything was quickly put back into
the bag, and the plane landed safely after recovering from the overload. Also,
the use of containers to sneak others into the theater is obviously illegal.
And finally, traveling by mail is considered extremely dangerous, yet we know
that for many families it is now the most cost effective means of
transportation.
And that's an amazing Huhu fact.
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-- !! PRICE RISE COMING !! -- !! PRICE RISE COMING !! --
On October 1, 1999, all Growler tapes go to $7 per tape
-- !! PRICE RISE COMING !! -- !! PRICE RISE COMING !! --
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THE GROWLERVILLE TOURIST
Despite the ominous sounding name, the Forbidden Zone offers a peek into
the vast beauty of a stark, heavily encrusted, natural setting. Located far to
the west of Growlerville, this area is strictly off limits to the recreational
traveler. The Tourist Bureau recommends that you visit the Forbidden Zone
exhibit at the Town Museum, where you can experience the natural beauty of the
place without the extreme risks associated with a firsthand visit. They also
recommend the bus tour - although it does not actually take you into the
Forbidden Zone, you do get close enough to view the giant scarecrows placed at
the town limits to remind citizens that they should turn back. Quite remarkable
indeed!
After many moons and inquiries, and after agreeing not to hold them
responsible for anything, the Huhu Authority finally arranged for us to directly
observe the Forbidden Zone, escorted by researchers from the Oldold Institute.
The professionals who go there to conduct studies refer to it as "the Zone."
Our trip with them took place in an armored personnel carrier surrounded by
several hyper zeta protective fields. As we headed toward the Zone through the
bleak buffer area, past the scarecrows, through the corridor, we hoped our
protective technology was enough. In the distance, we recognized the unusual
cloud formations and purple smoke that we saw in the film at the museum. It's
stunning.
Sensors capable of detecting the presence of encrusted forms were evident
everywhere on our vehicle and they started going off the moment we entered the
Zone. Within moments, all sound stopped. We tried to speak, but no sounds were
possible. Even naturally occuring sounds became noticeably absent. The
researchers shut down the engine and instructed us with hand motions to be
quiet. After a few moments of silence, things returned to normal, and we were
off again. The scientists explained that we had just experienced the presence
of the invisible Noise Thief, an encrusted form which seeks out and consumes
audio energy. It was hungry, and came over to us to graze on our noise!
Imagine what would happen if one of these escaped from the Zone!
Within the Forbidden Zone, scientists are continually discovering new
encrusted entities, some resembling life forms, like the Noise Thief, others
resembling mineral forms, and even some with multiple realities. The encrusted
forms which have evolved here are much hardier than most, for they have had to
adapt to outrageous changes. Some have become microscopic, like the Tiny
Timber, or the Betwixt & Between virus. Others can become huge, and go
underground great distances before emerging, like the Cloud Eater, or the Upsy.
Others conserve energy by disappearing for most of the time, reappearing only
when conditions provide high moisture and nutrition, like the well known Swine
Laurel, or the beautiful Stone Berry. Interactions between these diverse
encrusted forms has lead to the constant evolution of new, incomprehensible
natural powers, some potentially very dangerous to citizens of Growlerville.
A short while later the sensors again went off as we approached a group
of strange cactus-like trees, each with a single black or white flower at the
top. The researchers call it the Sneeze. The black flowered tree has evolved a
powerful attractive force, similar to that of a magnet, to pull from long
distances the pollen from the white flowered plants. But the result is that
many other things can get caught in the attractive force, like metals, even us!
We gave them a wide berth.
Next time: More on the Forbidden Zone, plus some historical background
Long ago, The Parents Of Antiquity declared the area a sacred reservoir,
available only to the highest elders, who tried unsuccessfully to control the
forces they found there. Most of those unlucky enough to wander in never made
it out. But later generations were able to harness some of its powers. When
the Ancient Huhu Council ruled that anyone foolish enough to go there deserved
the consequences, a young Oldold took notice. Armed with only a handful of undo
enchantments, he boldly entered the Forbidden Zone and began the intensive
research that continues today in his name at the Oldold Institute.
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REMINDER: available, but not yet in the printed catalog:
GROWLER RADIO 20, Toxic Obnoxic (GR20)
Dr. Growler's maniacal attempt to get rid of darkness
has led him to make some compromises and take some risks.
Like using an encrusted mineral he knows is dangerous. He
miscalculated the consequences of failure and that increased
the risks not only for the Growlers, but civility itself.
The Baby Huhu twins are missing, dangerous objects are
falling from above, and night no longer is a time of darkness.
The kids discover the truth about Project No Night and they
want no part of it. And then there's this comic book that
puts you at the center of the story, and much more.
Revisits: Growlershine, Project No Night (from GT4, GR6)
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To order tapes or a catalog: 1-800-GROWLER or ORDER FORM
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