In an interview with Grandma Huhu, up until now one of the most solid Mother Huhu supporters, The Growler Times found the matriarch unable to throw her support solidly behind either candidate. She says, "They're both great. Mother Huhu has shown strong leadership in the past, but Fred isn't all that bad. In fact he seems equally qualified. Don't know which one I like better. I kind of like them both right now, and either one will do a great job." Just yesterday, Grandma Huhu was quoted saying, "Fred's pathetic efforts may bring him some short term press coverage, but no way does he have a chance in this election. He's a wacko and a loser."

On the other side, Growler Louise, who has been recently running Fred's campaign, told reporters today, "Fred has an excellent chance of winning this election. But Mother Huhu isn't a bad choice either. They are both wonderful candidates, and so equally capable. Maybe they could both win. Wouldn't that be cool?" In an interview only two days ago, Louise said, "There is only one candidate who is concerned with the consequences of unregulated magic. That is our very own Growler Fred. He stands for what is right and the voters know it. He will win and win big. Mother Huhu is just another slippery politician who has become part of the problem."

Another sign of trouble surfaced when the Election Board, meeting to investigate the problems as well as reschedule the election was unable to agree on how to proceed. Some present at this meeting claim the Board was so disoriented that it could not even commence the meeting. Completely bogged down on minor details, the session continues without a resolution. Sources tell us that a motion to break for lunch was still being debated at midnight.

Anybody know what's going on here? Email us:
gz @ growler.com
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Are you aware that our website has 24 age appropriate crossword puzzles?
(and more coming!) Go here: The Growler Tapes Crossword Puzzles
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AMAZING HUHU FACTS (from GR 27, All Things Being Equal)

Fact: Equality is not always a good thing.

Our ancestor, and Master of Natural Forces, Oldold believed that equality
was one of the guiding principles of good government. It didn't matter
if you were gigantic, big, small, tiny, teeny tiny, or microscopic. He
felt that all citizens should be treated equally not only by the
government, but by other citizens as well. But alas, he saw prejudice
everywhere - from housing and job discrimination to the everyday act of
mistreating those who were different. It affected him so much, that he
actually made an effort to cure the population of it. If everything and
everyone were equal, these social problems would vanish, he reasoned.

On his very first try, he successfully concocted a spore bearing
encrustacean (encrustation) that achieved his goal of eliminating
differences. He named it All Things Being Equal and immediately put it
into use in Growlerville. The results were stunning. He seemed to have
achieved an astounding success! Everyone was in agreement. Arguments
stopped. Prejudice was absent. Everything was equal - every person,
every choice.

But All Things Being Equal had a terrible downside. When all
possibilities seem equivalent, choosing among them becomes impossible.
The government was unable to enact any legislation. None of the
representatives could even decide their own positions. Matters of great
importance became equivalent with the trivial. Civilization stopped,
trapped in an indecisiveness so severe, that survival itself was
threatened. Should we eat, or not eat? Fortunately, Oldold had prepared
a neutralizing process called By Guess & By Gory, which he used to
normalize Growlerville before any real damage had been done. And so he
learned that too much equality can be a bad thing, and once again his
complete success is a total failure.

And that's an Amazing Huhu Fact!

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All 31 Growler Programs are available on both CDs & tapes
1-800-GROWLER Discounts on sets.
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THE GROWLERVILLE TOURIST by Mr. E.

It turns out that the fake bugs mentioned in my last column really were for use in a scientific experiment. If you remember from last time, I was walking through the industrial park section of town when I came upon a damaged crate filled with rubber crickets. Big guys in white trucks came and cleaned up the site, removing the crate and all the spilled crickets - except for the one I had stashed in my pocket, and which is now in the hands of Grandpa Huhu and EARS (Encrusted Animal Rights Society). So now I'm walking back to town, having refused a ride on the back of his motorcycle.

The front that was approaching is now upon me so I trudge through the rain in the direction of town. This should be just a brief shower. As I pull up my hood, there is a loud explosion behind me from one of the lots in the industrial park. Hurrying back, I observe numerous more eruptions, and strangely swirling smoke. It is the stuff under the tarp, labeled ATBE. A fragment of the sign, "Danger! ATBE: keep away from rain," floats across the road in the wash of the downpour. The entire tarp is shredded, and as more and more of the stuff under the tarp gets wet, more explosions and weird fires break out. I back away several blocks and can see that the impacted area is slowly increasing as the rain continues to feed the unstable reactions. There are hundred of small, exploding purple fires now claiming more that two of the lots. The smoke from these strange flames appears to be moving backwards - that is, into the reaction. It's an amazing display - purple flames that seem to absorb smoke. The rain lets up, and the fires and explosions come to a halt. Left on the lots is the same green, moldy powder as on the objects under the tarp.

The sun comes out again. The tarp is completely destroyed, and the fence around it is coated with the green powder as is the blacktop out to the road. Whatever was under that tarp has escaped into the environment. If it's really dangerous, why isn't someone cleaning it up right now? Why didn't an alarm go off? And the other obvious question is: Why is ATBE dangerous? My next move is to find the appropriate authorities and start asking questions. A car zooms by, oblivious to the green dust cloud it creates as it rolls right over a fresh deposit of ATBE, throwing it into the air and carrying it off within the tire treads.

I'm out of breath from jogging all the way into town. There is a long line waiting to get into the school. I am told that these are folks waiting to vote in the hotly contested race for the seat on the Huhu Authority. An ambulance pulls up while I am questioning voters. This crowd is very unhappy about having to wait. Ms. Babalyn Rymon told me, "Usually you're in and out of there, and there's never a line." I walk to the front, where there are three voting booths, each with evidence of the green powdery stuff, and the very first person to enter each has yet to emerge. They've been in there for just over an hour. The officials here have called the ambulance just in case. From the overheard conversations with the voters in the booths and the paramedics, there is no medical emergency, just an inordinate amount of indecision. The situation, however unusual, becomes a boring wait after a while, so I move on toward the center of town.

I spot Grandpa Huhu's motorcycle parked outside the EARS Building. At first, the guard refuses to let me in, saying there is a closed meeting in progress. But after showing him my press card, and complaining that I am the one who provided the evidence, he makes a call, and Grandpa Huhu appears. He takes me to a small conference room protected by student guards. Inside the hardcore leadership of this radical organization is engaged in a heated discussion about some recent environmental abuse. Remember the recent Camouflage disaster, when the ancient visibility consuming agent got out of control? It wasn't caused, like everyone assumed, by that accident during the taping of Mother Huhu's Magic Helpline. EARS operatives uncovered an internal memo proving that instead of carting their garbage to legal landfills, waste disposal giant Skimzo Corp treated tons of their refuse with active Camouflage, then dumped it in the nearby woods without recontaining the Camouflage. This stupidity lead to a huge deficit in the city budget caused by the cleanup, and EARS wants to be sure that Skimzo contributes its due share of these expenses.

Just as they begin discussing the fake cricket research project, the meeting is interrupted by an announcement from the Huhu Authority. The election has been postponed to an unspecified date. But more than this, a crisis committee meeting has been called. A General Emergency is in place. This is serious stuff. I'm trying to find out what's going on, but all phone lines are jammed, and no calls are getting through. As I step outside, another rain shower is underway, and I can hear the explosions and see the strange fires of ATBE off in the distance. The Huhu Authority building is now guarded by security forces, and no one wants to talk to me.

next time:
Volunteering to save Growlerville, the archaeologist at the waterslide, more on the fake bugs, and a lesson in freshness.
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UNCLE HUHU'S KNOCK KNOCK CITY

Knock knock.
Who's there? Yuki.
Yuki who? You keep on saying the same boring things.


Knock knock.
Who's there? Ida.
Ida who? I dumped all my problems in your lap.


Knock knock.
Who's there? Hide out.
Hide out who? Hi doubt you can stop being annoying?


Knock knock.
Who's there? Ivory.
Ivory who? I've returned to the place of my birth.

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REMINDER: These 3 stories were released within the past 12 months:
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GROWLER RADIO 24, EverCool
Dr. Growler's company, EverCool, is a hugely successful enterprise,
manufacturing everything from appliances to soft drinks. It's a
household name that everyone loves for its amazing products. But
there's a dark spot out in the meadow that seems to be growing, and
the trees and plants are all dying.

Being up in a treehouse gives you a great view from above. It's a
cool place to observe woodpeckers, or deer, or even someone
harvesting shadows. The kids rescue the Eensies, get severely
exposed to a dangerous substance, and discover that the remedy is
not a sure thing.

Concepts: Anti-light.

Revisits: The Eensies GR17.
                  for a recent review of EverCool: Reviews.
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GROWLER RADIO 25, Camouflage
Mother Huhu had a slight accident during the taping of her show.
But not to worry. Everything that escaped has by now been recaptured
and is being held in small glass containment traps spread out on the
lawn, waiting to be put back into the vault by the baby Huhu. What else
could possibly go wrong?

When you suddenly can't see your own body, there are questions that
need answering. Is there any difference between being invisible and
being perfectly camouflaged? Have magic practitioners become lax
when it comes to safety issues? And what exactly is 100% Visibility?

Concepts: Invisibility, visibility, perception.

Revisits: Magic safety issues.

The Growlerville Tourist column in the last issue of GrowlerZone has an
extensive descriptive on Camouflage: GrowlerZone June 2000

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GROWLER RADIO 26, Timefish
The Timefish evolved the ability to create an opening in time
called a temporal vortex, through which they can travel to other
timezones in search of better survival conditions. But is this
temporal vortex a dangerous place for the Baby Huhu? And what
is Prof. Growler doing with all those fake crickets?

An organization called EARS (Encrusted Animal Rights Society)
has been protesting the exploitation of encrusted animals by
scientists. They've even infiltrated Prof. Growler's project.
The kids get caught up in a weird experiment, and then lead a last
ditch rescue effort.

Concepts: (1) The temporal vortex, where time does not pass, and a
species that travels through time to find the best conditions for
survival. (2) A thriving species comprised of one, sterile individual.

The Growlerville Tourist column in a past issue of GrowlerZone has a
brief descriptive on Timefish: GZ nov 2000
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Coming Soon:

SONGS OF THE STONE, a novel by Bob Sakayama.

A series of Oldold's journals, our ancestor and Master Of Natural Forces.
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All Growler stories are now available on both audiocassettes & CDs.

To order tapes, CDs or a catalog: 1-800-GROWLER or Order Form

Purchase orders accepted from libraries and schools.
Info for schools & libraries Discounts on full sets
_________________________________________________________________

To read more about available Growler tapes/CDs:

The Growler Tapes (Classic Series) I-IV

Growler Radio 1-26


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