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GrowlerZone Email + + + + GrowlerZone Email

+ + A Cultural Posting From Growlerville + +
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November 2004 issue #13 November 2004
The Growler Tapes Audio Adventures
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"I refuse to be a pig!" (Brother Huhu)
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In this issue: back issues

- - DEAR GROWLERZONE: Feedback forum

- - GROWLER RADIO: GR8 Invisibility Crisis

- - GRIST: The Pendulum Swings Too Far part 1

- - AMAZING HUHU FACTS: The cure for invisibility involves invisibility

- - THE GROWLERVILLE TOURIST: More first hand Growlerville

- - ALMOST RANDOM: Stuff to make you cringe with thought

- - UNCLE HUHU'S KNOCK-KNOCK CITY: More silliness from a pro
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DEAR GROWLERZONE

Dear GrowlerZone,
I can report with certainty that we have some toxic obnoxic
in the house. And because of our behavior, it has grown and now
takes up the entire basement. Help! XLNt1

Dear XLNt1,
If it really is Toxic Obnoxic, you need to go on vacation
(unless you have it on you). When the TO doesn't get the
rudeness it requires, it will wither. GZ


Dear GrowlerZone,
Are there any real Baby Growlers singing on the new cds? Mary says
she can hear them singing. I think I can recognize all the performers
listed, but don't see any Baby Growler credits. Is Mary hearing
something I can't? ZZbottom

Dear ZZbottom,
Answering this question is like describing what Growler Fred
looks like - he's different for each listener, and that's the beauty
of audio. Chill out ZZbottom, listen like Mary. GZ


Dear Growlerzone,
Do you have to have annoying characters in your programs? My
kids have all of Growler Radio, so I've heard a lot. There's this one
character, Brother Huhu, who makes me cringe every time I hear
his annoying voice. Is he so necessary to your programs?
Just asking. MoiraLess

Dear MoiraLess,
Brother Huhu accepts your compliment and dedicates his
vocal on The Impolite Huhu Waltz to you. If you want to avoid it,
it's on Baby Growlers 4. GZ

Got questions or comments? Let's hear from you.
gz @ growler.com Put "Dear GrowlerZone" on the subject line.
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Baby Growlers 1-4 MUSIC for ages 2-6 Available on cd only
       
These are programs designed to grab those little ears with the amazing world of highly produced audio. We've got all the Huhu and Growlers singing, plus real creatures, lots of sounds, and footstomping danceables galore. Each cd features it's own animal stars, a mystery, a dinosaur event, and humor throughout, all in the context of really great songs. Like all things Growler, these fun listening experiences trick kids into learning by exposing them to nontraditional ideas, a challenging vocabulary, and an appreciation of the unexpected - guaranteed to become part of the conversation with your child.

Listen to samples: Baby Growlers
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GROWLER RADIO 8, Invisibility Crisis

Those ancestral enchantments can be real tricky.  Most don't work at all.  Sometimes they do the exact opposite of what you expect them to do.  And every once in a while, one gets so completely out of control that all you can do is hang on tight and hope that the ancients knew what they were doing.

Just before she disappeared, Mother Huhu was experimenting with an ancient enchantment.  Because she didn't have an updated version of Magic Reference, she thought it was safe.  Now the kids are involved in a full scale emergency.

Concepts: frame of reference
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GRIST The Pendulum Swings Too Far part 1 by QB Snifs

It's truly incredible how fast juicy news can travel. If only there were a way to harness this powerful force. Most of the city knew the outcome within seconds of the Huhu Authority's ruling on the new restrictions on encrusted processes. The year old licensing requirements are being amended, to recognize two new areas, previously unregulated. The first was expected and not a big deal: the new restrictions on companies involved in waste disposal, as a result of the Camouflage disaster where city garbage was dumped right here in town, made invisible by the encrusted agent. The second regulation was a surprise, because it meant that the authorities are now recognizing a new danger to the citizenry. The new amendment prohibits something called "encrusted public performances."

This is not a town that embraces regulation of any kind. But the abundance of practitioners, dangerous encrusted reagants, and the reality of magic accidents became too perilous to ignore. Growler Fred's landmark legislation was only possible because of the failures of the independent practitioners to guarantee public safety through self-regulation. The inevitable disasters occurred, and so the law passed. But the possibilities of really controlling encrusted activity was dubious to begin with, since most practitioners have strong wills, high egos, and a distrust of government. Their trade organization, the NRE (No Restrictions Ever), is one of the most powerful political lobbies. As a result, the Authority is pretty much limited to reacting to problems, after the fact. That means damage control, always making an effort to avoid further regulation. So this new amendment is significant. The unspoken truth is that a disaster has occurred, or this legislation would never have passed.

But if this is true, and an encrusted public performance resulted in a disaster large enough to warrant legislation, what exactly happened? The usually talkative members of the Authority avoided the press after the vote. The government web site had nothing on the new legislation, and email queries concerning this issue went unanswered, and soon afterward, the internet became inaccessible. Secrecy is the fuel of gossip, and this town is now buzzing. The talk is about unknown dangers, and this is not good. And if such dangers exist, how do we protect ourselves? How would we even recognize an encrusted public performance? Theories abound. The last election was corrupted by an encrusted political speech. EverCool products are sold with encrusted advertising. What do you think tv is? What about that new hit song? One can become so paranoid that even these stories and their tellers may be part of a much larger encrusted public performance. And the ultimate: Our experience of life is an EPP.

The foolish Huhu Authority must have hoped the controversy would just disappear with time. The midweek press conference was abruptly cancelled, and in its place, a press release was handed out, saying that we are all safer now than ever and to go about our lives. They knew the press had questions they did not want to answer, so now there are even more questions, and more people interested. And then there are the uniforms. A very visible security force is present throughout the city. On closer inspection, it gets even worse. No one can leave - there are imposing quarantine barricades and checkpoints blocking the roads leaving town. The train station is closed, as is the airport. City Center Theatre Complex has cancellation signs across the marquee. The security officer at the closed ticket window told me that due to an emergency, the city was shutting down all public venues until further notice. It took a while for this to sink in. It is shocking. There are no radio or tv broadcasts. No internet. Our cultural activities are being preempted and we don't know why.

Of course it is possible that whatever is behind these tactics truly warrants this restrictive policy, and that it is all being responsibly handled with our interests in the fore. By the end of the day, it appears that many people are trusting the government, even without any reasonable explanation. But the buzz among the media dogs is that the newpapers will be all over this story with the morning editions - they have no choice. They're now the only media game in town. Someone has to explain why you can't get the news the old fashioned way - on the internet, or a public news performance viewed on a tv set. The editors are pysched, not just because they know they'll be read. They've got the ball and they're going to run with it wherever it takes them. But there's a sense of victimization in the air. There are rumors of injunctions arriving before morning. Government lawyers are suggesting that printing and distributing the paper could be interpreted as an encrusted public performance.

continued in part 2

Have comment on this story? Email us:
gz @ growler.com Put "Grist" on the subject line.
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WHAT'S UNUSUAL ABOUT THIS PARAGRAPH?

Go to the above link and see if you can solve it. It's so obvious, it's painful.
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AMAZING HUHU FACTS (Growler Radio 8 Invisibility Crisis)

Item: Here Nor There. Fact: There is truth in the power of opposites.  Back in the early stages of our magic evolution, experimenting with invisibility was quite fashionable.  Of course, many mistakes were made, and many of the early experimenters disappeared.  To help find them, our ancestor Oldold created an enchantment called Here Nor There, which he claimed would make visible all those who had mistakenly become invisible.  But the Natural Forces Society refused to let him conduct Here Nor There when they saw the way it explosively reproduced itself, making everything it touched invisible. They feared that if everything became invisible, no one would see ANYTHING.

    Now we know that Oldold was right after all. Here Nor There finally stopped exploding once everything was invisible.  And guess what? The invisibility crisis is over!  When EVERYTHING is invisible, nothing is.

    And that's an amazing Huhu Fact!
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growler.com now has over 3 hours of streaming audio. Listen to samples from
every story as well as hidden audio (click the images).
Start here: The Growler Tapes
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THE GROWLERVILLE TOURIST by Mr. E.

I'm inside the the temporal vortex, and my watch confirms that time has stopped. I have a strong sense of the familiar. Was I here before? It's deja vu, without real memory to back it up. On top of it all, everything in here is huge! I come upon a golf ball that I can sit on! It's as if I shrank to a few inches tall. I am hesitant to wander too far from the vortex. What if I get lost in here? This sense of danger is unavoidable, but I don't want to miss out on a once in a lifetime experience. I decide to do a bit of exploring before facing Prof. Growler, who I can see still frozen in time on the other side of the vortex opening. Again I hear faint laughter from the backyard. All sounds seem to echo strangely, even my thoughts seem to reverberate. Walking throught the grass is like walking in a cornfield just before harvest, so I decide it's safer to stay near the house, on the brick walkway.

I smell a delicious odor, fresh strawberries. There's a garden near the house with a patch of strawberry plants, all with huge ripe berries - perfectly ripe and delicious. I gorge myself on this fantastic taste, and it's wonderful. I'm full, and I only ate a tiny hole in this giant berry. The only problem is that the seeds are way too big to eat.

Just when I'm starting to feel comfortable about being here, I see something that freaks me out. I'm standing in a huge paw print of a cat, probably the pet kitty that lives in the giant house. I hadn't even thought about the dangers connected to being part of the food chain until now, and I want no part of it. If a cat eats me in here, while time has stopped, what happens to me? Not feeling safe, I run for the vortex.

It's such a weird notion to even think that time can stop, that because I am within the temporal vortex, no time is passing on the outside. As I approach the opening, Prof. Growler's distorted face is frozen in the midst of an angry rant in his timezone on the other side. I know I'm about to hear the rest of that rant when I exit the vortex, so I brace myself and run as fast as I can through it. "... dare you! Hey!" I am into the woods instantly and Prof. Growler doesn't give chase, but he does bellow. I can see the school of timefish caught in the trap over fake crickets. "I recognize you as the bogus writer of tall tales! Now you have your story, so make sure the truth gets out! The brilliant Prof. Growler succeeds again! That is the truth!"

As the obnoxious professor is preaching, Brother Huhu's sabotage is playing out in the control software. The giant trap, the net containing the timefish collapses, and the poor timefish, panicking and racing madly for cover, head back to through the temporal vortex, causing it to close and disappear. "Hey! Who released the net? They're getting away! This can't be happening! They'll never come back! My brilliant experiment is ruined!"

I am sitting with Bebe the policewoman outside the specimen storage area at the station. She's such a sweetie. I had asked her to let me know when something interesting turned up that I could write about for this column. She knows I'm especially interested in encrusted stuff. She shows me two specimen jars in a specialized carrying case marked "caution - hazard," that were confiscated from an unlicensed practioner. To me all encrusted phenomena are interesting, but this case is getting more attention than most because the two items in these jars are potential contaminants. Their containment is critical. I recognize the imposimazoo eggs. These are an amazing creature that can change form - a while back (GZ Nov 02) I wrote about one that became an additional eyebrow on my face!

The other she calls Toxic Obnoxic, and it's beautiful. It's a glowing yellow, thick fluid, that seems to respond to sounds. "Don't be offended at what I'm about to do, just observe carefully." Then she says, in a loud voice, "You are so stupid and ugly, that you are beginning to smell bad!" With this insult, the glowing Toxic Obnoxic pulses bright as each word is spoken, and it seems to have increased in size as well. For some reason, this makes me laugh. Bebe makes a gross burping sound that causes a really bright flash to occur. Intrigued by this response, we then call each other nasty names and make loud bodily sounds until the substance fills the containment vessel and is a brilliant, bright yellow. Our behavior may seem fun and frivolous, but I am told that exposure to this encrusted substance can cause a victim to become obnoxiously rude by mere contact. Then it feeds on the rudeness it inspires. In so doing, it is capable of contaminating the entire citizenry within a few moons. The political dangers are well documented. A small amount, smuggled into the High Council by a rival shaman, brought down the Fung dynasty during the time of Oldold.

After signing the specimens in at the desk, Bebe takes me to the location they were taken from. Because she has seen my fascination with encrusted forces, she feels a responsibility to show me what was found. I have an ominous sense as we head out toward the edge of town. We walk on the big path into the big woods and then onto some animal trails to a rocky clearing along a stream littered with refuse. Bebe stops and points. I see environmental devastation, a smoldering garbage dump. On a more careful examination, there are numerous large craters, some holding rain water. The burned stumps of once large trees surround the clearing, and there is evidence of fire in the nearby cornfield. She's pointing at the largest of the stumps, which has an opening on the water side. "The farmer who owns this cornfield complained because of the fire. No one expected to find this lab out here." Three other police officers appear. A hazards team has been here since the arrest this morning. There's a shed inside the stump holding all kinds of tools and devices I have never seen. "This is clearly an unlicensed operator. Look." It's a package labeled Betwixt and Between. "And here are some Seeds Of Doubt," she says holding up a sealed package of beans. Every single item here is contraband, or severely restricted under the new ordinances. This guy was a big time operator, and Growlerville is definitely safer with him out of business.

For me, its a field day. I realize that this is dangerous stuff, and that Bebe is showing it to me as a means to trim my enthusiasm, but it is so cool to learn about. The hazards team uses a book called Magic Reference, Volume 2 to confirm identification and handling techniques. They are very careful to log all details and account for everything removed from the premises. I stay on until they inventory the very last item, which is a small green locked tackle box with "1A" stenciled in white. The police pick the lock easily and open the box. It's packed with fishing lures. No wait. Not lures - there are no hooks. Wait a second, I've seen these before. It's full of rubber bugs - crickets to be precise! And I know exactly what they're for.


Next time: The underground encrusted culture, the enslavement of the Noise Thief, and the opposite of a scissors.
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Baby Growlers 1-4 music for ages 2-6 Available now on cd
       
"We've got Growlers in our top 40 list. All KidMixRadio selections are chosen by a panel of seasoned critics, including my 2-year-old and my 5-year-old. Baby Growlers is a hit. Unique but crisp vocals are combined with interesting sound effects and some of the best songwriting found in kid's music today. The result is fun music that does not sing down to your kids. Growl on, babies!" (Kim Robasky, KidMixRadio)

Listen to samples: Baby Growlers
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ALMOST RANDOM:

Fred in Norwegian means peace.

In order to be believed, you may have to make things up.

Normal is so rare that it may not exist.

Help stamp out and eradicate superfluous redundancy.

Nothing beats the deuce of excuse.
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UNCLE HUHU'S KNOCK KNOCK CITY

Knock knock.
Who's there? Oliver.
Oliver who? Oliver time was taken up doing invisibility experiments.

Knock knock.
Who's there? Oscar.
Oscar who? Oscar if she knows how to catch a Noise Thief.

Knock knock.
Who's there? Energy.
Energy who? In her jean jacket, she looks like Mother Huhu.

Knock knock.
Who's there? Stopwatch.
Stopwatch who? Stopwatch you're doing and get over here!

Click here for the big collection of knock-knock jokes from Uncle Huhu: More Knocks
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Other recommended stories that relate to this issue of GrowlerZone:
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GROWLER RADIO 15, Recipe For Disaster

When you create a machine as smart and useful as Sweetie Pie, you're bound to be proud and protective, like Professor Growler. But no matter how smart you make it, if large objects appear out of nowhere, even machines could be vulnerable. And then there's this incredibly contagious magic virus...

What is going on in the woods? A strange machine is hovering about, making weird noises and searching for something. Suddenly, an accident reveals that all of Growlerville is in great danger. And the only remedy has been removed from all copies of Magical Reference.

Concepts: encrusted virus Betwixt & Between, consequences of censorship
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GROWLER RADIO 20, Toxic Obnoxic

Dr. Growler's maniacal attempt to get rid of darkness
has led him to make some compromises and take some risks.
Like using an encrusted mineral he knows is dangerous. He
miscalculated the consequences of failure and that increased
the risks not only for the Growlers, but civility itself.

The Baby Huhu twins are missing, dangerous objects are
falling from above, and night no longer is a time of darkness.
The kids discover the truth about Project No Night and they
want no part of it. And then there's this comic book that
puts you at the center of the story, and much more.

Revisits: Growlershine, Project No Night (from GT4, GR6)

Concepts: Consequences of encrusted experimentation.
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GROWLER RADIO 26, Timefish

The Timefish evolved the ability to create an opening in time
called a temporal vortex, through which they can travel to other
timezones in search of better survival conditions. But is this
temporal vortex a dangerous place for the Baby Huhu? And what
is Prof. Growler doing with all those fake crickets?

An organization called EARS (Encrusted Animal Rights Society)
has been protesting the exploitation of encrusted animals by
scientists. They've even infiltrated Prof. Growler's project.
The kids get caught up in a weird experiment, and then lead a last
ditch rescue effort.

Concepts: (1) The temporal vortex, where time does not pass, and a
species that travels through time to find the best conditions for
survival. (2) A thriving species composed of one, sterile individual.

The Growlerville Tourist column in a past issue of GrowlerZone has a
brief descriptive on Timefish: GZ nov 2000. Also this: Timefish
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THE HUHU'S WHO'S WHO

Want to reference a character in Growlerville? Anyone who's anyone is in this book.
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To order tapes, CDs or a catalog, call 1-800-GROWLER or click here: Order Form

Purchase orders accepted from libraries and schools.
Info for schools & libraries Discounts on full sets.
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To read more about Growler tapes/CDs:

Baby Growlers 1-4 Music: ages 2-6 (Baby Growlers 5 available Dec. 2004)

The Growler Tapes (Classic Series) I-IV Stories: ages 4-10

Growler Radio 1-27 Stories: ages 6-12

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The easy gift: GROWLER GIFT CERTIFICATES. Let them choose.
Your message, certificate, sent anywhere.

There are now 35 Growler Programs
1-800-GROWLER ORDER FORM Discounts on sets.
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