The Real Growlerville 9: Mother Huhu's Magic Helpline Show

(A first hand account by investigative journalist, Mr. E)


A Quick Taxi Cab Ride

Having hopped into a taxi in front of the Growlerville Museum I booked it over to the Growler Broadcasting Center. I debark the cab and am immediately engulfed by a huge crowd. Who are these people? "Celebrity stalkers", that's who!

The guard stops me & I flash my press card. He studies it carefully, and asks me my name before allowing me to enter the facility. I am directed to Soundstage B where the Magic Helpline is taped. The stage is circular, surrounded by audience on all sides. Mother Huhu's on stage with a piano, a drum kit, a didjeri doo, and a bass, but my eye is drawn to what appears to be a strange pair of gloves, designed for a seven fingered person, on a table next to her. I quietly take a seat.

There's a problem. Domenick, the technician, is fooling with the right glove using some cool diagnostic device. Mother Huhu looks exasperated.

He says:

  • It's the functionality sensor on the secondary index."
  • "Do we have to reschedule?"
  • "This is a major repair. Did someone try to use these underwater?"

The taping is rescheduled for tomorrow.




I grab Dom, as he walks by me carrying the gloves. "I bet Sammy took these fishing again," he mutters. He motions for me to follow him into the maintenence area. It's an amazing place and these are awesome devices.

Dom tells me the gloves are called Fast Fingers, an encrusted product born of body extension technology. Worn by a normal five fingered person, they greatly magnify one's dexterity with the application of encrusted technology and 2 extra fingers! He lets me try them after he completes the repair.



At first it is a bit weird to have seven fingers, but soon I am able to do amazing things - like tie the laces on my sneakers with one hand, or tie both laces at the same time.

Dom has been practicing and shows me how he can type on 8 computer keyboards simultaneously, while juggling 31 objects! His hands are flying! I try the juggling part and am awestruck when I can comfortably juggle 8 objects within a few minutes.

Dom says I may take Fast Fingers home with me to familiarize myself with their potential. I am ecstatic. The only precaution he says is not to get them wet. He gives me a pair of seven fingered rubber gloves to go over the Fast Fingers in case I want to do something like wash dishes.

I thank Dom profusely and head back home, wearing the system on my hands. I am bionic! They are such fun, and so incredibly useful!


Imagine being able to brush your teeth, floss, wash your face, shave, squeeze pimples, put on lotion, and brush your hair - all at the same time!




This is much more fun than Growler Louise!

UPDATE: It was great that Dominick let me borrow the Fast Fingers from the set of Mother Huhu's Magic Helpline. As I mentioned earlier, Fast Fingers born of body extension technology, looks like a pair of seven fingered gloves. But in reality, they help any normal five fingered person become dexterous beyond belief.

During her show the next day, Mother Huhu was doing a demonstration, playing 4 musical instruments at the same time - becoming her own ensemble!

When I first put on Fast Fingers , I am able to tie my shoelaces with one hand! I can type on the keyboard - on 7 keyboards - faster than I can think. At the same time, I can cook with one hand and wash dishes with the other (wearing the special 7 fingered rubber gloves, of course). I can keep 14 yo-yos going! I can pitch a curve ball the comes back to me! I'm sewing with 4 needles faster than any sewing machine!

I am having so much fun with this wonderfully weird prosthesis, that I decide to order a pair. Dominick says I have to get on the 27 page waiting list - apparently, a lot of others see the amazing potential of this device.

After the Mother Huhu show, I sign up and leave a deposit. "Soon," he says.

next - In The Industrial Park