The Real Growlerville 15: The Dutchess Saves The Day

(A first hand account by investigative journalist, Mr. E)

Who Is Going to Save Growlerville from Imposimazoo?

Read on and find out.  If you need a refresher about that pesky encrusted creature called Imposimazoo, I have several posts you can refer to. If you are victimized by Imposimazoo, go here. If you want to learn about the Imposimazoo Pavilion at the Growlerville Museum, go here.

A large black limo pulls up to the barricade and the crowd comes alive. It's The Dutchess of Hu, and expectations are high.

Researchers within the educational and industrial communities of Growlerville have been unable to find a reliable way to detect the presence of Imposimazoo, despite the huge effort being made.

But The Dutchess, a private practitioner, claims to have developed an encrusted recognition protocol called Smell Identify that can help safely find the Imposimazoo.

The enchantment provides the recipient the capability to smell its presence. As she exits her limo, she is immediately taken to the crisis center, set up in the lobby.




I was hoping she would immediately get to work, but there's been a long delay.

It is now dark.

Behind the barricades, the crowd has almost doubled in size.


Finally, she comes back outside. We observe the Dutchess and two assistants as they walk out onto the street, sniffing, and picking up the money and placing it in jars, where the bills become eggs.

Then the scene becomes even more surreal.

The three approach the crowd, sniffing and picking up items from the citizens. We are shocked to find we have been carrying this menace all over us! Some have obvious contamination, like those with extra ears, fingers or noses. But a lot of jewelry and clothing are also exposed by the sniffers to be Imposimazoo.

When they get to me, I proudly hand them the egg in the jar that once was a wallet. Sniffing at my face, the Dutchess pulls off a phony eyebrow that has wandered above my nose.


It's embarrassing, even humiliating, but in the end we are contamination free, thanks to the Dutchess' magic smells.




I'm back in my hotel room. It's late, I'm wiped out, but relieved, and really looking forward to a shower and a good night's sleep. But there's an irritating sound coming from my jacket.

As if on cue, my pager is flashing with a short text message: "Crisis Committee called to emergency session. Check it out."

I fall back on the bed, and it's a big mistake.

If you can't afford to fall asleep, don't close your eyes, not even to blink.

I passed out the instant I relaxed on the bed, and as a result, I'm behind on a most important news event.

Now I'm playing catch-up.



By the time I get to the Crisis Center, the only one there is security, and he just came on. Still, he knows more than I do.

He tells me that it finally happened.

"It's all over the radio. They all quit. Every last one of them!"

He is speaking of the Elected Representatives to the Huhu Authority. Someone brought a banned book into the chambers, and it caused a massive upheaval.

I apparently missed the biggest political story of the year!

I can't believe it. My editor is not going to like this.

next - Petty Crimes & The Bottomless Bag