1-800-GROWLER

Can You Pass the Magic Qualification Examination?

Determination of your competency is now required by law.   All those seeking a license to practice must meet certain minimum requirements, including a passing score on this examination.

If you qualify to practice, you will be notified by scroll.   Black ink on black cloth shall name your rank for none to see.   You will be expected to uphold the Oath Of The Responsible Practitioner, to always bear witness on behalf of all.


Ranks covered by this examination: Qualified, Able, Proficient, Expert, Level One Expert, Level Two Expert

 

Answer ALL Magic Qualification Examination questions.

Show all work.   Insight is important.

-1- What is the sum of "not enough" and "too much"?

-2- What is the contents of a bag full of empty?

-3- In essay form, answer the question: Yes or no?

-4- There are many questions that have no answers. Give an example of an answer that has no question.

-5- Explain in simple terms how your future can take place without you.

-6- If your goal is to fail, and you succeed, what have you done?

-7- Is it possible to be guilty of being innocent?  Explain.

-8- What is the opposite of science?

-9- The Ancient Waterslide Monument near Growlerville Park was assembled more than 2 gigamoons ago with no modern technology. Recent decipherings of Huhu literary artifacts reveal that the waterslide was built in its entirety in less than one Huhu moment.  How could so large a structure have been built in less than the amount of time it takes to blink?

-10- Backward backward can be both forward and drawkcab.  Explain.

-11- How do you go about purchasing items that do not exist?                      

-12- What is the primary use of Nothing Remover?                   

-13- Which way is up when you are all the way up?

 

Problem solving:  Be as specific as possible.

-a-You suspect someone has accidentally renounced reality. How can you tell if he or she was successful? 

-b- The clock appears to have stopped.  How can you be instantly certain whether or not it is time itself, or the clock that has stopped?

 

The following questions are required for rank of Expert and higher, extra credit for everyone else:

-I- Demonstrate an understanding of the Theory Of Opposing Truths (or Theory Of Opposites) by explaining how never can be always

-II- Given confusion, entropy >0, and a full glass of water, derive clarity with as few steps as possible.

-III- If "what" is either, when is "or?"

 

"Always be as smart as possible, but no smarter!"

(From Oldold's journal)