The Real Growlerville 16: Petty Crimes & The Bottomless Bag

(A first hand account by investigative journalist, Mr. E)

Now What?..... Just Want to Eat Breakfast!

As a reporter, you always want to be ready for the big story. You sacrifice sleep, regular meals, brushed teeth, and a clean face just to be there when IT breaks! Of course, sometimes you just blow it as you know from my last post: The Duchess Saves the Day.

But before I can get too depressed, I hear sounds of a major altercation nearby. Yelling. Screaming. Someone has lost it. It's happening at the theater, right across the street. A children's movie is playing.

I arrive along with a policewoman who has been called to the scene.

The manager zeroes in on her and immediately says, "Get those cheaters out of there. They all snuck in without paying. Look!" He is holding up a large cloth handbag - a beautiful antique.

She takes it, nods and asks how many snuck in. He says all but two. She pulls out her wallet and pays him for all their tickets and walks into the crowded theater.

The rowdy behavior immediately ceases and when it gets quiet enough, she says without smiling, "You all know why I'm here."

She holds up the antique bag, and a definite hush can be sensed.

"Please raise your hand if you bought tickets for this show." Only 2 hands go up.

"Everyone else must come forward and apologize to the manager. I will let you go with a warning this time, but if you are ever again caught stealing services, I will have to contact your parents, because it is a crime.

What if your family owned this theater.

Would you want everyone to sneak in without paying?"

Embarrassed, they form a not so orderly line and begin their apologies. They are expecting to have to leave when the manager announces that their tickets have been paid for. A cheer goes up and they reenter the theater.


But by this time, I am out on the street trying to keep up with this policewoman, who has become my hero. I want to ask her about that bag, which she confiscated, and now resides in her backpack.

"Hi, It's Bebe. So what's up?"

I stupidly think she is speaking to me and I'm almost about to start a conversation...

"It's resolved. Got a Bottomless out of it."

Her communication technology is perfectly concealed.

"What kind of complaint? Millions of them! Eeeuuuu!"

She notices that I'm trying to interact and motions me to follow her.

"This might be one for sanitation, Janine. Prof. Growler? I'm on it."

I very awkwardly introduced myself and we're off and running.


Never realized how busy you can be as a police officer in Growlerville.

Bebe explains to me that it's been getting worse and worse at so rapid a clip that they're going to have to double the force just to handle the paperwork. Although my mind is on that antique handbag, I can see that it's going to have to wait. Through her answers to my questions and by overhearing her speaking to Janine, the dispatcher, I learn that her immediate destination is a place called 1A, one of the most prestigious labs conducting encrusted research under the supervision of the famous Prof. Growler.

This is an environmental enforcement call - several complaints were filed this morning about a huge number of insects seen on the premises.

Fortunately, she doesn't seem to mind me tagging along.

next - Professor Growler's Project