The Real Growlerville 8: Imposimazoo Pavilion

(A first hand account by investigative journalist, Mr. E)


I Am Still at the Growlerville Museum...

......and still wandering about the Hall of Disasters. My feet are killing me and my stomach is growling! And I'm also thirsty. I wonder where I can find a bottle of dry water?

I'm still here in the Growlerville Museum, waiting to have my scheduled session with the entertaining and knowledgeable curator, Doan Givva Hu. He unexpectedly has to deal with some emergency funding issue and suggests I wait for him in The Hall of Disasters. The exhibits are truly stupendous.

The Imposimazoo Pavillion has an amazing demonstration of this little imposter's capabilities. Contained with nothing to copy, it's an egg. Unleashed, Imposimazoo can take on almost any form at will, and it especially tries to become things you will want to touch, as that begins its rapid reproductive cycle.

In the middle of the presentation, from the corner of my eye, I see Growler Louise walking out so I quietly follow. She leaves the Hall of Disasters and ducks into the Temporal Anomaly room. I follow but don't see her anywhere.

There's an impressive exhibit on a strange creature called the Timefish. It does not live in water - it swims through the air. The display shows a huge school exiting a cave-like disturbance called the Temporal Vortex. Apparently, these encrusted creatures create this vortex through which they can "swim" into other time zones, in search of more favorable survival conditions. The creature and the Temporal Vortex it creates are of deep interest to me, but I am distracted as I again spot Louise, this time heading outside. I try to follow, but she sees me and disappears onto the streets of Growlerville.




Growler Louise has become somewhat of a celebrity of late. Pop culture here in Growlerville is driven by forces that are beyond understanding. Louise's popularity stands at an all time high in spite of her derisive and dismissive attitude toward her fans.

Articles in the gossip press about all aspects of her life are ubiquitous. This is especially puzzling when you realize how reclusive she is. When was the last time you actually saw her? Or heard her? See what I mean?

But the real proof of her imminent leap to super stardom is this email assignment from my boss, "Get an interview with GL for the next issue of GrowlerZone."




Louise and I were buddies from way back before Growlerville became so hip. She wanted the press, and I was happy to spin for her. I'm quite enthralled by her actually, and I think she feels the same way towards me. I email my boss a "no problem" and pick up the phone.

When I dial her private line, I get an employee, a staff screener! I guess it's not the private line anymore. I ask for Louise and have to leave a message.

That was 9 weeks ago.

I am going to miss the GrowlerZone deadline, and I am no closer to that interview. The lesson here is that anyone who tells his boss it's easy to connect with Growler Louise is nuts. I have been working on it, going nowhere for months. Celebrity status has really gone to her head - she doesn't return my calls anymore and for any actual appointments I get from her staff, she's always a no show. And she used to be my buddy! So much for friendship once you make the A list.

I lick my wounds and email my editor the bad news.




Fortunately getting an interesting replacement story is no problem in this town. My press status gets me into a lot of cool stuff - like this invitation to a taping of Mother Huhu's Magic Helpline.

I hop a cab crosstown to the Growler Broadcasting Center. There's a huge crowd outside trying to get a peek at the celebrities. Someone starts yelling that Growler Louise has arrived, and the crowd goes nuts. I don't see her, but use the opportunity to push through the throng toward the entrance. Security is very high.

next - Mother Huhu's Magic Helpline