What was it that the ancient Huhu intentionally sealed under all
those rocks, and why has Growlerville been quarantined?
Sometimes it's better to leave things buried the way your
ancestors intended.  Unless you're prepared to suffer the
consequences of contamination.

    The wristband that she lost was unique.  There are no others
like it.  Because it's so valuable, the Dutchess is offering a
reward for it's return.  Now it seems there are TWO of them. 
Or are there?  And what exactly does Imposimazoo look like?

Concepts: mimicry for survival
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GRIST

    Last weekend, at an unnamed midtown restaurant, The Dutchess of Hu was overheard complaining loudly to her agent about not getting government funding next year for her project researching encrusted olfactory capability (magic smells). This after decades of commitment by the government, as well as massive public support. In her frustration, she has been credited with saying, "Something smells very fishy in the land of the research grant!"

    Funding of controversial projects has always been a hot topic here. Every recipient of government funds has a good argument as to how the public is served by the investment, pretty much a requirement to get the money to begin with. It's also a fact that researchers seeking money for high risk projects in this town are so numerous that the chances of any one getting funded are pretty slim. So an industry was born, professional agencies whose mission was the selling of research ideas to the government and numerous philanthropic organizations for funding consideration.

    A successful agent has an eye for spotting good ideas, but this must be coupled with useful contacts, exceptional copywriting and presentation skills, long hours, and an ample amount of sheer luck. The work is grueling, the competition fierce, and most agents barely make ends meet. So it is incredible news when one particular agent garners all the available funding, as Eye Each Ildren has miraculously done. Although there is no proof, she has come under harsh criticism and suspicion from the research community for employing some yet unknown encrusted capability to obtain her monopolistic success. Her lawyer continues to say that no laws have been broken, but that only seems to increase interest in this story. Ms. Ildren refuses to comment on her success.

    But what really makes it interesting is that this agent has only one client. The data published in the funding awards newsletter shows that one researcher to be the brilliant and powerful Dr. Growler. Like the successful excavation of the recently discovered Urn Of The Imposimazoo, these projects tend to be spectacular news events, as well as obvious advancements for the scientific community. Eye Each also got funding for Dr. Growler's New Year's Day Mass Revocation Of Reality experiment (the results of which are still unclear), all the research leading to the Dry Water technology, and the giant EverCool project. EverCool has quickly become the single most powerful industrial force in the history of Growlerville, and has made Dr. Growler fabulously wealthy. And now it seems he also has all the research money. Where are the watchdogs?

Anybody know what's going on here? Email us:
gz @ growler.com
_________________________________________________________________
Are you aware that our website has 24 age appropriate crossword puzzles?
(and more coming!) Go here: The Growler Tapes Crossword Puzzles
_________________________________________________________________
AMAZING HUHU FACTS (from GR 4, Imposimazoo)

    Ancient Huhu hieroglyphics speak of a mythical creature which contaminated the population until our technology produced a magic smell enchantment that could detect its presence. We speak of the dreaded Imposimazoo.

    Buried deep beneath a column of intentionally positioned retaining boulders, an ancient urn was recently unearthed revealing more astonishing details about this important mythical creature.  Because so few details have ever been found concerning the Imposimazoo's appearance, the artwork on this urn is significant.  It seems the ancients described this famous mythological creature as both having no form and having all forms, as being both harmless and disastrous.
    And that's an amazing Huhu fact!
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All 31 Growler Programs are available on both CDs & tapes
1-800-GROWLER ORDER FORM Discounts on sets.
A long overdue PRICE INCREASE takes effect 1 October 2002
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THE GROWLERVILLE TOURIST by Mr. E.

    I can still hear the distant explosions as the rain reacts with the mysterious ATBE powder originally stored on a lot in the industrial park just outside town. They seem to be quieting down, even though the rain continues. I'm trying to catch up to Grandpa Huhu who I just saw, walking toward the Huhu Authority building. As I approach the entrance, I am kept out by the numerous armed guards. I say I'm with Grandpa Huhu, but they are not impressed. This is a public building, so denial of access is a significant issue for any journalist. The guards respond to my protests saying that it's standard procedure when the Authority declares a General Emergency. All government buildings are in lockdown. They are courteous but firm - no way am I going to get in, no matter freedom of the press, or the right of citizen access.

    Across the street, because it's not governmental, the EARS (Encrusted Animal Rights Society) building is open. It's deserted, no one even at the doorman station. I wander back to the conference room, where all the lights are on, but no one is here. On the dais is my rubber cricket, wrapped in two identical white handkerchiefs. I can't believe Grandpa Huhu is so sloppy with valuable evidence, so I roll up the fake bug in the hankies, and pop it into my shirt pocket. There's a newspaper on the conference table with the headline, "Imposimazoo Discovered At Dig." It's a strange yet familiar name. I recall that in the Hall Of Disasters at the museum, it has its own pavilion. There is a photograph of an archaeologist standing in front of the Growlerville waterslide, holding a ceramic urn decorated with ancient hieroglyphs. According to the article, the scientists uncovered an urn, buried deep beneath huge, intentionally positioned stones, that bore the markings of the mythological creature, the Imposimazoo. The name "Imposimazoo" translates as "superlative impostor." For most of history, the Huhu never knew what the imposimazoo looked like. They only knew that it represented a monumental disaster that caused great societal disruption until it was finally overcome and contained by the ancients. Its powerful ability to mimic physical objects wreaked havoc on the populous. Victims were confused by the appearance of extra shoes, jewelry, clothing, even extraneous body parts, like extra ears, fingers and noses. Finally, relief was discovered in the form of an encrusted aromatic capability, or magic smell, that enabled the capture and containment of the menace.

    Before I can learn any more, my reading is interrupted by a rush of footsteps behind me and in an instant I am surrounded by large men wearing uniforms. Some of them are familiar security police, and others wear badges that say "environmental enforcement." They are aiming their screeching sampling devices at my feet. Apparently they detect something on my person. Using some ancient looking cylinders - flashlight-like devices that give off amazingly brilliant green and red lights - they focus the beams on my shoes. I watch as shimmering purple traces on the soles slowly fade away. I am told that I have been cleansed of the contaminant, ATBE or All Things Being Equal. The officers who are treating me say that I am lucky to not have been affected by the spores I had on my shoes. The primary symptoms of confusion and indecision seem minor until it is explained to me that the uncontrolled spread of ATBE throughout Growlerville is the reason the election had to be postponed. No one could make up their minds in the voting booth. And when they finally rescued the Election Committee, they found them victimized in a pathetic discussion of whether or not to break for lunch - yesterday's lunch. Apparently, ATBE destroys your ability to make decisions by making all the possibilities you are considering appear equal. Insidious poison!

    But now everything seems to be under control. A last minute breakthrough revealed that there is a vast difference between fresh rainwater, and more stale forms of the same liquid. Only extremely fresh rainwater fueled the ATBE fires. Researchers found that when stale water (like from the birdbath) was added to ATBE samples, there was no reaction. When added to an ongoing purple fire reaction caused by fresh rainwater, the stale water interrupted the reaction and brought it to a complete halt. Then the rescuers were able to eliminate the remaining spores with the emitters' red and green curative lights.

    The rescuers persuade me to volunteer to help them extinguish ATBE. They issue me some equipment which includes an emitter, a uniform and a shovel. I get a quick course on how to use the emitter, the shovel, and other miscellaneous supplies. But as I am getting ready to leave with them, one of the security police asks me if I know anything about the theft of ancient artifacts. He is staring at my shirt pocket. My mind is racing. He looks very serious, like maybe I committed a crime. Is the cricket I took from the lot in the industrial park an ancient artifact? They didn't have rubber or plastic back then. I pull the hanky wrapped bug from my pocket and hand it to the officer. Before I can explain how I came into possession of the bug, the cop unrolls the cloth, revealing not one, but two fake crickets! The rubber bug is reproducing! I am too shocked to comment. The cop focuses not on the weird fake insects, but the handkerchief in which they were packaged, picking it up and carefully inspecting the monogram, which until now I had not even noticed.

    In the next few moments, I find myself under arrest, advised of my rights, and held without bail, charged with the theft of cultural artifacts and the environmental crime of reckless dispersal. Apparently, the newly discovered urn containing the Imposimazoo was stolen. The fear is that its contents were released into the environment. I am being falsely accused of this crime based on my possession of a hanky. No explanation is forthcoming. A total bummer. I am handcuffed and led away, a victim of circumstantial injustice. But on the positive side, as a prisoner, I gain entrance to the Huhu Authority building, where the real action is. As I sit on a hard bench in a caged detention area, I begin to realize the magnitude of my troubles. Then, suddenly, it hits me. Just as the danger of ATBE is subsiding, another disaster takes its place. Having two fake bugs now when before there was only one, is hard to explain, but there is an equally troubling aberration. When the cop unrolled the bugs, there was only one hanky!

Next time: Magic smells, the Dutchess of Hu, hieroglyphs expounding the theory of opposites, a new kind of counterfeit, and the unintentional theft.
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THE MAGIC QUALIFICATION EXAM

Take the Magic Qualification Exam. The Huhu Authority recently ruled that all
those seeking a license to practice must meet certain minimum requirements,
including a passing score on this examination. This is a copy of last year's
exam. The Magic Qualification Examination

If you qualify to practice, you will be notified by scroll.  Black ink on black
cloth shall name your rank for none to see. You will be expected to uphold
the Oath Of The Responsible Practitioner, to always bear witness on behalf of
all.

Ranks covered by this examination: Qualified, Able, Proficient, Expert,
Level One Expert, Level Two Expert.

All fees collected in the licensing process are used to compensate the victims of
encrusted disasters through the Victims Of Magic Fund.
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UNCLE HUHU'S KNOCK KNOCK CITY

Knock knock.
Who's there? Jefferson.
Jefferson who? Jefferson yourself on a sun deck?

Knock knock.
Who's there? Edible.
Edible who? Edibaloney sandwich for lunch.

Knock knock.
Who's there? Donate.
Donate who? Doan ate the peas, while Doan's brother ate the carrots.

Knock knock.
Who's there? Sheila.
Sheila who? She loves to play piano.

Click here for more knock-knock jokes from Uncle Huhu: More Knocks
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REMINDER: These 3 stories were released within the past 12 months:
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GROWLER RADIO 25, Camouflage

    Mother Huhu had a slight accident during the taping of her show.
But not to worry. Everything that escaped has by now been recaptured
and is being held in small glass containment traps spread out on the
lawn, waiting to be put back into the vault by the baby Huhu. What else
could possibly go wrong?

    When you suddenly can't see your own body, there are questions that
need answering. Is there any difference between being invisible and
being perfectly camouflaged? Have magic practitioners become lax
when it comes to safety issues? And what exactly is 100% Visibility?

Concepts: Invisibility, visibility, perception.

Revisits: Magic safety issues.

The Growlerville Tourist column in a past issue of GrowlerZone has an
extensive descriptive on Camouflage: GrowlerZone June 2000

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GROWLER RADIO 26, Timefish

    The Timefish evolved the ability to create an opening in time
called a temporal vortex, through which they can travel to other
timezones in search of better survival conditions. But is this
temporal vortex a dangerous place for the Baby Huhu? And what
is Prof. Growler doing with all those fake crickets?

    An organization called EARS (Encrusted Animal Rights Society)
has been protesting the exploitation of encrusted animals by
scientists. They've even infiltrated Prof. Growler's project.
The kids get caught up in a weird experiment, and then lead a last
ditch rescue effort.

Concepts: (1) The temporal vortex, where time does not pass, and a
species that travels through time to find the best conditions for
survival. (2) A thriving species comprised of one, sterile individual.

The Growlerville Tourist column in a past issue of GrowlerZone has a
brief descriptive on Timefish: GZ nov 2000
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GROWLER RADIO 27, All Things Being Equal

    During a renovation of Oldold's historic residence, a sealed basement room was
discovered and opened. During the next rainstorm, weird purple fires started
popping up everywhere. Then citizens started having trouble making up their
minds. To top it off, there's an anti-magic candidate running in the election.

    It looks like a green, powdery mold, but it's something much more devastating.
It's the essence of the encrusted phenomena Oldold created and named All Things
Being Equal, and you'd better not get any on you. Of course, the kids get it
all over them and learn that too much equality can be a bad thing.

Concepts: The notion of equality pushed to the extreme.

Revisits: The political struggle for Growlerville.
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Now available:

SONGS OF THE STONE, a novel by Bob Sakayama.

A series of Oldold's journals, from our ancestor and Master Of Natural Forces.
The first three chapters are free online here:
SONGS OF THE STONE, chapters 1-3
_________________________________________________________________
All Growler stories are now available on both audiocassettes & CDs.

To order tapes, CDs or a catalog: 1-800-GROWLER or Order Form

Purchase orders accepted from libraries and schools.
Info for schools & libraries Discounts on full sets
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A PRICE INCREASE FOR GROWLER TAPES TAKES EFFECT 1 OCTOBER 2002
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To read more about available Growler tapes/CDs:

The Growler Tapes (Classic Series) I-IV

Growler Radio 1-27


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